“In the last few months, we’ve gotten all sorts of vaccines — Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca, Montero — but for at least a little while, it looks like there’s gonna be one less,” Trevor Noah said on Tuesday’s Daily Show. “The FDA has temporarily halted the Johnson & Johnson vaccine while they look into six cases of rare blood clots in people who got that vaccine.” And sure, “you don’t want the vaccine for one disease to give you another disease,” he said, but “you’re more likely to get struck by lightning 10 times” than get blood clots from the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. Noah listed dangerous symptoms of COVID-19, including, yes, blood clots.
The odds of getting blood clots from the Johnson & Johnson shot is “less than one in a million,” Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. “To put that in perspective, it’s slightly better odds than you have of getting to visit Willy Wonka’s Fantabulous Chocolate Factory — which, for the record, kills or maims four out of the five children who set foot inside.” He also caught up on the latest Matt Gaetz troubles — the only “feel-good story on the news horizon,” he deadpanned — and tried to dissuade Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson from running for president.
The FDA and CDC are only “recommending a ‘pause'” in Johnson & Johnson vaccinations, though “anyone who’s ever been dumped was like ‘Oh boy, we know what pause means,'” Jimmy Fallon joked on The Tonight Show. “Johnson & Johnson is owned by the same family who owns the New York Jets, so don’t think of this as a pause, think of it more like a 50-year rebuild. And today if you had a Johnson & Johnson appointment in New York, they gave out Pfizer instead. Yeah, it’s like going to a restaurant and hearing, ‘We’re out of Coke, is Dom Pérignon okay?'”
“I blame the second Johnson — he never graduated high school,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. “But now the White House is scrambling to restore confidence in vaccines. Public trust is already a major obstacle to achieving herd immunity, so what does this setback mean?” Well, “six out of 7 million means getting the vaccine is safer than not getting the vaccine,” he said. “You got it? Then get it.”
Well, Lin-Manuel Miranda is still going to get his shot, The Late Show sang.
Late Night‘s Seth Meyers regretted not making that same Hamilton joke.
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